You may get confused about what to say to someone who lost their father and how to help them in the gloomiest period when the broods lose a restful shelter in their life. You may have less words to show care to a bereaved friend who lost the serene shadow of his father. So, choose your words and actions wisely before visiting or calling the heart-broken friend because wrong words and activities may hurt the bereft.
Points to Remember for Sharing Your Sympathy
Your choice of kind words and behavior may show console and honest support to the bereft, so act sensibly and support your friend.
Show your Care and Concern
Try to be a good listener before uttering anything and pay heed to the agonized words of the bereaved. Show your concern and sorrow by embracing a warm hug. Share consoling sympathy words with a positive note of care. Reassure the person that you are always with him or her in the difficult condition and make your friend comfortable with your sedative behavior and activities.
Call or Visit the Grieving Person Immediately
You should try to give an immediate phone call or visit the house of a friend after hearing the news of death. Don’t share your condolence after a long time because it may show careless approach and less affection towards the bereft who lost the filial support. Your prompt condolence message or supportive action for the parentless child can be the noble gesture of love and affection towards the bereaved.
Pray for the Peace of the Soul
Father is the reflection of God for his loving children. Losing him is like suffering the utmost pain in life. Prayers and devotion may act as the remedy to such agony. Conveying true respect and praying for the contentment of the soul are the best ways to act as a well-wisher. You may also take the person to the church and plead to the Almighty for the peace and salvation of his or her departed father for the solace of the family members.
Recall the Good Memories of the Departed Person
Filial power is the guiding light for every child. Reminding his virtuous memoirs and noble works in front of a mourning child can be a respite. You can cherish his good memories by sharing his portrait, memento, photograph or memory tree on his name. You may also collect his paintings, poems, stories and hand-made crafts, and frame it for the bereaved person who lost the parental bliss. This can act as a gesticulation of respect towards the departed person.
Define the Value of the Defunct Person
Father is the valuable gift of Almighty for his offspring and his absence cannot be filled by anything. Still, you can recall the noble deeds, and sacrifices of the departed person to comfort the hearts of his mourning children. This may define your value and true admiration for the demised soul and his family.
Guide your Mourning Friend
People become helpless when they lose their guardian. It is a daunting and sorrowful task for them to take the responsibilities in that situation. As a well-wisher, you may guide a fatherless child with necessary advice that can help him or her to walk in the right way.
Offer Financial Support
A son or daughter may be confronting a helpless situation after losing filial support and reliability because father is the financial pillar of a family. In that situation, you may ask permission from your grieving friend or relatives for contributing an amount to help them in the period of loss. If your friend or relative don’t want to take your support then you cannot force but you can request them to accept the sum on the name of the demised. This action may help the bereft to fulfill the necessities of his or her family without any trouble.
Donate Capital on the Name of Demised
The donation is always done for a noble purpose. Therefore, if you are financially stable then donate a petite sum on the name of the departed person for the solace of his soul. It will also bring ease to the children who lost their father. This kind deed will not only help the needy people, but will also give contentment to your soul.
Share Soothing Words of Condolence
You often become speechless and don’t understand what to say to someone who lost their father because sharing condolence to the death of your friend’s dad is really a grief-stricken work at that devastating moment. Kind and polite words may help you to share sympathy message by a call, condolence note, sympathy card or letter. Don’t try to be too personal by asking the reason for death. Show your sorrow and apology to the surviving son or daughter.
- May the noble soul of your dad get embraced by the affection of God. Amen!
- Don’t worry dear friend, my family is always there to guide you in this difficult period. Lots of love and prayers.
- We won’t forget the loving memories of your father. He will be missed by everyone in the community. Thoughtful condolences.
- Please allow me to donate a fund at an orphanage on the name of your dad for the solace of the noble soul.
- I know your dad was the financial base of your family and his demise made the situation helpless. I request you to accept a petite sum of money for your need. It will be an honor to me.
- You cannot get drowned in grief. You have to support your mom and younger sister in this terrible situation. Please control yourself.
- I am earnestly sorry to share a condolence for the departure of your dad.
- Your father was a talented guitarist in our music band. Hearty condolences and prayers to him.
- Know that you and your sister will be always in my prayers and good thoughts.
- Feel free to call me anytime when you need, I am there to hear your words.
- May the soul of your loving daddy rest in peace under the shade of Almighty. RIP.
- I may not fill the empty place of your dad, but I promise you to support you from every possible aspect.
- Your father was a mentor, philosopher, guide, and friend for you. I am terribly sorry for your grave loss.
- Your dad was my role model who encouraged me and my brother. Solemn condolences and prayers for him.
- He was the pillar of the entire family and today his demise has shaken the root of the family.
- I tribute my tears, prayers and white roses to the funeral of uncle Robert. Genuine sympathies.
- Really sorrowful and shocked with the pathetic news of the early departure of your dad.
- The unexpected death of your father has made us speechless. Really sorry for the loss.
- I don’t want to disturb you now. When you are ready to talk, please call me.
- Don’t worry I will give the medicines to your mom, you just take rest dear.
Assist the Bereft by Honest Services
When a front-runner of a family departs, the dwellers of the house become restless and helpless. You may offer a little help to the fatherless children and their family by serving them with some essential services:
- Cook or bring meals for the family
- Help a small child or elderly person by serving food and medicines on time.
- Make necessary arrangements for the funeral and the crematorium ceremony with ritual and custom.
- Serve beverages and meals to the mourning guests of the bereaved.
- Help the deserted children with a proper guide for managing bank accounts, property and finance.
- Take care of the little members of the family.
- Make arrangements for out-of-town people who will attend the funeral.
- Manage the accounts and investments.
- Clean the rooms of the bereft and his family.
- Wash the clothes and utensils of the family.
These tasks may show your honest worry, love and care for the bereaved. It is a way to conquer self-satisfaction.
Show Respect by Offering Sympathy Gifts
Offering sympathy gifts to the fatherless son or daughter may not heal their pain, but the tokens of love may showcase your consoling gesticulation towards the family. You may send or carry a condolence gift after hearing the heartbreaking death news. You can share a kind gesture towards the bereft by choosing these thoughtful gifts:
- Sympathy Card
- Flower Bouquet
- Sweets and Dry Fruits
- Inspirational Books
- Memorial Tree
- Portrait of the Demised
- Photo Frame
- Religious Gifts (Wall Cross, Statue of Christ, Bible)
- Sympathy Comfort Candle
- Remembrance Stone
- Customized Gifts with the Name of Demised
- Keepsake Jar
Words to Avoid While Sharing Condolence
Sometimes, unintendedly you say impervious words to a person who is mourning for the death of his or her father. This may hurt the feelings of the bereft. Try to support the person rather than discouraging him or her with unpleasant words. Avoid a few things that can be hurting:
- Don’t utter any negative word about the father of the bereft. It may turn the situation adverse and show your disregard towards the family.
- Do not force the bereft to answer every question you ask during the time of grief. This can be annoying.
- Don’t force your mourning friend to start a new activity which he or she is least interested to do.
- If he or she does not need your guidance then please don’t guide her unnecessarily.
- Do not say that God always provides justice. Death cannot be a pleasant result or justification of destiny, so don’t share such harsh words.
- If you cannot confront your friend then try to console your mourning friend by sending a condolence letter rather than avoiding him.
- Don’t make the person feel lonely by any negative comment.
- Don’t tell someone that the death of his or her father is the penalty of his sins. Remember you are no one to judge anything.
- Don’t recall any bad habits and wrong behavior of the demised father of your friend. Always remember that no one is faultless and recalling any negative thing can hurt the distressed children.
- Never say thanks to Divinity for the demise of someone’s father. It may result in a hard conflict between you and the grieving family.
Things to do After the Funeral
Many people forget the sorrow of a fatherless child after a few months of the funeral, but a well-wisher or a true friend never overlook the pain of the bereaved. Let your grieving friends know that you have not forgotten them and you are always there by the following ways:
- Give the bereaved space to grieve for some weeks and help them to fight with the sorrow.
- After two or three weeks encourage the distressed friend to live a normal life and take the responsibilities of the family.
- Give a phone or video call to your friend every day in your free times.
- Guide him or her to manage the bank account, loans and finance after the demise of the father.
- Remind him or her role for the siblings after the demise of his/her father.
- Try to accompany him or her on various occasions.
- Invite your friend to your home and get him or her introduced with another group.
- Cheer up the bereaved friend by taking the person for lunch, dinner, movie, and shopping.
- Don’t remind him or her about the deadly incident.
- Engage your friend in interesting activities such as a gym, salsa dance, music class, guitar lesson, painting, a morning walk or sports.
Losing the father and guardian of the family is hardly acceptable for a child. Sympathetic words and actions cannot diminish but reduce the pain of bereaved children. So, ease the agony of your bereft friend with comfortable condolence messages, kind behavior and honest support.